wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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