I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
