My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
