I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
