I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My bed smells like the plague
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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