bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
