mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
