Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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