she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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