Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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