i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
