So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize