well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
