I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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