That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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