You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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