Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
