bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize