Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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