I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
