there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
