we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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