Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
