so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
