I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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