sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
