is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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