Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
