no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
