You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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