You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
