At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
