Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
