Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
