pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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