i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
