I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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