He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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