i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This house was built for laser tag.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
