let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
17 year olds will be the death of me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
