where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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