i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
