I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
