3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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