I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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