He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
