forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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