I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
