Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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