Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i came on her dog
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
