3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize