He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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