Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
