Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
