Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize