no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
