Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
