I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
