You're my little dorito
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
