You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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