She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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