I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
