You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
