Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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