did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
