i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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