We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
