I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
