Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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