windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
