What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
