she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
