How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize